The importance of fertility in the workplace support

#FertilityInTheWorkplace

Jade, 33, writes about her experience of going through fertility treatment with an unsupportive employer.

I had three rounds of ICSI over a three-year period, with a total of seven embryo transfers – all were unsuccessful. This extremely distressing time in my life was made far worse because of the lack of support from my employer. (For most of my fertility treatment I worked as a personal assistant for a charity which provides services for adults with learning disabilities.)

No legal right to time off work

During my first round of treatment, I found management to be somewhat supportive in letting me take time off for appointments. However, I was repeatedly reminded that I was not legally entitled to time off for my treatment and was told it would be best if I used my annual leave. I was also warned that if my shifts changed while I was having treatment and they then clashed with my medical appointments, then it was “tough luck”.

Things got worse during my second round of treatment when I was told I couldn’t use annual leave for my appointments, because there weren’t enough other staff to provide cover. As there was no fertility policy in place, I asked if there would be scope to create one, but was told there was no point as it was only me.

Little emotional support or understanding

During treatment, there was very little emotional support or understanding from managers. After my first embryo transfer, I was sent to services deemed unsuitable for pregnant people, despite me voicing my concerns about this being a breach of guidelines. One response was: “normal people wouldn’t know if they were pregnant yet and you don’t actually know if you will be”. This caused my anxiety to spike as I was worried I could ruin my chances of becoming pregnant.

There was also little to no support from management following unsuccessful embryo transfers. One manager called me within an hour of receiving my devastating negative result to ask me about covering more shifts; as I cried down the phone to her, she attempted to make jokes with me. I ended up feeling I was being unreasonable asking for support, but being ignored made me feel so alone through what was already a very distressing time in my life.

A difficult decision to leave secure employment

By my last round of treatment relationships had completely broken down between my managers and myself, and I took the difficult decision to leave my secure job and take a zero-hour contract, as it was the only way I could be guaranteed time-off for treatment. This was a hard decision as it had a huge financial impact on us, but it did take a massive weight off me.

I have now left the care industry and I don’t think I could ever go back after the treatment I was given. I felt so trapped as I didn’t feel I could find another job willing to give me time off, and also needing the maternity pay caused another stress. I will always wonder if the stress of work had an impact and that’s something I have to live with now that my fertility journey has come to an end.

Before my last embryo transfer, I took a second job with a mental health organisation. Despite not having a set fertility policy, this firm provided the time off and support I needed. It was a huge difference and took so much stress away.

The importance of emotional support

The support I received from my team in my new role was incredible: I was advised to take things as easily as possible and both staff, management and human resources worked with me to make things as supportive and easy as possible. When my last transfer failed, my manager took the time to provide emotional support and let me do light duties until I felt ready to get back to normal.

While my fertility treatment journey is over, I am endlessly grateful for the support I have received from my new job. They treated me as a human being and not just a name on a rota. As my husband and I begin our adoption journey, I feel so much more at ease knowing I have a supportive workplace behind me.

Fertility Network’s landmark Fertility in the Workplace initiative helps firms support staff in their fertility journey. If you would like to improve fertility support and understanding within your organisation, email anya@fertilitynetworkuk.org

The importance of fertility in the workplace support
Jade