My life changed the minute I hit my twenties. I had always dreamt of having a family with two children and now infertility has stolen that from me. What is already an impossible situation has been made much harder by the lack of understanding and care in this field.

I have now what I would describe as an “NHS Phobia”. One of the reasons for my infertility is the fact I have endometriosis and adenomyosis. This condition is so debilitating at times, I can be in so much pain I can’t walk, or the opposite happens I can be in so much pain I can’t sit. There is such a lack of training in this field that most doctors I’ve met don’t know what this condition is, they might give you a text book answer about the description of the word but they won’t have a clue how it presents it self or how to manage the condition.

I’ve been made to look stupid or like i’m making the whole thing up time and time again by doctors resulting in myself in tears and more pain. I was once told I was fine and to try yoga, which made me feel so unsupported, I ended up having to go privately for a laparoscopy just to get help, as the NHS wasn’t supporting me. Needless to say, £4500 lighter I went back to my doctor and showed them the pictures of my surgery and how I wasn’t making my pain up. I also asked my doctors surgery to train the staff in this condition to which I just know they haven’t done. I’m glad to say that doctor is now leaving my practice. I strongly believe if you can’t show care and compassion at the forefront of medicine you shouldn’t be in the field of medicine. I’ve had countless stints in hospital because of endometriosis pain and been sent away without any help and mocked by staff.

I feel very worried for the future living with my condition because I know I cannot go to my two local hospitals for support as they will give me no help or support. I’m now living with the fact that if I want help and support I need to get on a plane to Athens and visit my consultant there where compassion is at the forefront of medicine and an operation is carried out the next day. For now I am trying Chinese medicine to relieve my symptoms and so far so good! It’s just extremely sad I have developed a fear of the NHS and so I’m scared to go to my GP or hospital for help because I know I will be put down and it has massively knocked my confidence. Fertility Network UK has given me support by its useful factsheets and wealth of knowledge. Its good to know I’m not alone. They are doing good things for people suffering with infertility and I’m 100% in support of their #scream4IVF campaign.

If you are sitting at The Infertility Crossroads wondering where to turn now you should read my book The Infertility Crossroads – When IVF Fails