Tips for coping with Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be one of the hardest days of the year when you’re struggling to conceive or experiencing the loss of miscarriage. It all too often feels like a cruel reminder of what you don’t have and most desperately long for and it may seem as if everyone is celebrating and you cannot be a part of that. Here are some tips to help you get through this tricky day.

Acknowledge your feelings

The most important thing is to acknowledge your feelings. They are valid. Infertility can be corrosive, devastating, and all-encompassing. Take time to reflect on your situation and where you are in your journey.

Be kind to yourself

Be kind to yourself too. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. It’s ok to turn down invitations. You can spend the day under the duvet, if that’s what’s needed. It may help to take a break from social media.

Make it special for you

You may want to make it a special day in an alternative way for you and your partner. Honour how hard you have tried to be a mum and know it is not your fault that you aren’t. If you want to go out, perhaps a walk in the spring sunshine away from crowded places, which could be triggering.

Time with your own mother

If your mum is still alive and she is sympathetic to your situation, spending the day together may be an option. For many people, Mother’s Day is a day of grief because their mum has passed away.

Supporting friends

If you want to support a friend experiencing fertility issues on this toughest of days, tell them you are there for them to listen and to do whatever they would prefer. It’s up to them and whatever they say, goes. Do not give advice, unless explicitly asked to.

You are not alone

Although it may feel like it is impossible for Mother’s Day to be anything other than distressing, if you make a plan ahead of time, then you have some control over the day. The raw emotions may still be there, the pain, heartbreak, anger, grief and more, but with understanding and support you will hopefully weather this day. Know you are not alone.