Katie’s Story

#FertilityEd

Katie was told she had to lose more than eight stone in order to access NHS fertility treatment. This is her story…

We felt completely unsupported. You don’t even get an initial consultation to talk about your case so that you have some hope, you just need to go away and come back when you’re a certain number on the scales. For some people, they may not need extensive treatment, they may just need some medication but basically you can’t even have a conversation with a medical professional until you tick the criteria boxes.

I didn’t have any advice about how to realistically consider losing this weight or what options we had if didn’t lose all the weight within a year. I went through some very low days where I didn’t eat at all and punished myself thinking “ if you eat that, you don’t deserve to be a mum”, to days where I felt that the goal was completely achievable and concentrated on my fitness plan and healthy nutrition.

One day, I flicked through Facebook and watched a set of blogs advertising National Fertility Awareness Week. I waited all week to hear someone talk about similar experiences to me. It never came. Surely other people had to lose weight like me? Did everyone feel ashamed?

I found Fertility Network UK the week after and expressed my upset and asked if they had any support groups. I finally found someone who cared. The lovely Alice registered me for their next nutrition course and I attended every session this year.

For the first time ever, I felt like I actually understood food and its purpose. I understood how both my baby and I would benefit from eating a whole-food diet. As well as being educated, I have met the most wonderful and supportive people, all in similar situations. These sessions have been so very important to me and really the only support offered to me throughout this journey so far.

I’ve now had time for our initial experience to settle and I must make it clear, if I can make myself as healthy as possible in order for treatment to be successful and to keep my baby and I safe, I will absolutely respect this, I will push myself and be where I need to be. However, is losing 8 stone in 12 months really going to make me as healthy as possible? Are we to assume that losing such a drastic amount of weight in a short time will put me into a perfect position to carry a baby?

Why in some private clinics can you be accepted for treatment with a BMI of 35/40 but the NHS will not consider you entering a clinic room until your BMI is 30 or under? Send us away after that initial conversation with a useful pack or resource that gives us some advice and support to help us achieve our goal. Provide us with contacts to support groups and counselling so that we are reassured that we are not on our own during the journey.

So, like many other lovely people we have and haven’t met, we are still on our journey. We will get there but I will never underestimate the need for support and love throughout.