My fertility journey started after I got married 10 years ago this year (2015). As many do, after the wedding celebrations have ended, I came off the pill and had high hopes for a speedy pregnancy. Years rolled on at first just casually and then came to ovulation sticks, the forced trying and the worry. We were starting to get concerned after around 4 years of no pregnancy, but then I fell pregnant. We were on holiday in Amsterdam and I hadn’t been thinking about my period but when I returned home I realised I needed to take a test. Fantastic news, I was pregnant. We thought great, we’ve avoided IVF and we were the happiest couple in the world.
Unfortunately, I fell ill with a serious fever. I went to the out of hours doctor, was patronised over and over saying this is what happens when you’re pregnant. I was finally admitted to hospital with an extremely high temperature and sepsis markers but to my shock was sent home with paracetamol. I should have put my foot down, but I trusted them. How wrong I was! I returned to hospital with the worst headache, and they finally took me seriously. I had to have a lumbar puncture as they thought I had meningitis. Luckily, I didn’t but I did have Sepsis. In fact what had caused it was Listeria! I have no idea how or where I got it but unfortunately, I was seriously ill and miscarried our baby. Obviously, after 4 years of trying this was absolutely devastating for us.
Following this I needed to fill the void of the loss. I went to my GP and just cried for 20 minutes. They offered me tests which resulted in them identifying I had Low AMH. Finally, I was getting the support I needed and things moved forward into IVF consultations. I started IVF during Covid and lockdown which was interesting. My first NHS round didn’t work so we bought a 2 cycle package. Due to low AMH I always got low egg numbers, but one redeeming feature was that I did get good quality blastocysts each round. Just maybe one or two embryos each attempt. We did cycle after cycle and transfer after transfer and became used to the disappointment. The despair was getting unbearable.
On our final cycle, we decided that this was our final attempt. We had spent thousands of pounds and we couldn’t face the disappointment anymore.
Luckily, on our third and final cycle (and around 7 failed embryo transfers), we collected 7 good quality eggs, the most I have ever had. 6 fertilised and 4 were of really good quality. We remained nonchalant as we really didn’t think it would work this time and we had made our peace with it. (sort of!)
The dreaded two week wait came and I resisted driving to the supermarket in the middle for the night for a test. Finally, OTD (official test day). 6am I got up and we had those two blue lines we have longed to see.
Obviously, due to the trauma of infertility, this wasn’t an instant jump for joy, in fact this is where the anxieties grew as we now had to ensure this baby stayed put! We had scan after scan at our clinic and every week she grew stronger. Finally at 8 weeks the fertility clinic signed us off. I found this time the most worrying as you’re not recognised as pregnant by the NHS until your first scan, usually 12 weeks but was more like 15 for me. I managed to draw on a local baby loss charity who had supported me previously for support, but if someone hasn’t experienced this, then there is very little support for people in our area.
Due to this, my friend, who is also on her own journey, and I decided to start a Fertility support group called ‘Fertility Friends’. We are based in North Lancashire/ South Cumbria and really hope to be that support mechanism for anyone undergoing fertility issues in our area. Its early days and we hope to launch very soon so please keep an eye out and join us if you’re in our area!
I am now the proud mother to a beautiful baby girl called Daisy Jane and she is our absolute world. I still have good quality embryos in the freezer so this may not be the end of our story but I’m proud to have made it this far through such adversity.
If you are struggling, remember you are not alone.