Meaning making

Infertility has sent me on a spiritual journey in search of my lost soul

When faced with loss, we will always try to make meaning of our situation. The search for meaning implies reaching some form of understanding of why loss happened and how it impacts our life. With this new understanding, we can better control our lives and shape our future.

In the process of coming to terms with their unmet desire for children, people often

  • try to make sense of their past efforts to achieve parenthood, or of the pathway that led them to their current situation;
  • question who they are and can become without being parents or having more children;
  • re-evaluate their life values and priorities, in search of a meaningful future in the absence of the desired children.

In this process, people often question what they have been told about what it means to be a woman (women are born to be mothers) or a man (real men provide for their children), to be in a partnership (marriages do not survive without children), or what is a family (children are part of family life). This critical reflection facilitates adjustment, as people go on to develop their own personal meanings of what their life, partnership and family can be, with or without children.

Where am I? Where am I going? Where am I supposed to be? If God hasn’t chosen me to be a mother, what is my purpose? That is my biggest question. What am I doing? Why have I been put on earth?


Back to Task Table

Meaning making Tasks:

Week 2: Begin to heal

Week 3:Look for light in the darkness

Week 5: Find what is important to you

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